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Re: Parenting: "All politics is personal" Sen. Paul Wellstone

In a message dated 1/6/01 12:57:31 PM Pacific Standard Time,
abrilmackenzie@HOTMAIL.COM writes:

<< I think you & I agree that too much
> >involvement is not good, but letting them run unsupervised is not good
> >either.

I think you are both wrong. Whether a kid needs more or less supervision
depends on
1) the kid
2) the adult
3) the match
4) the goals
5) how long you wait before making a judgment (waiting until after the kid
turn 30 greatly increases the number of successes)

I think Mike was speaking from a general stand point of "too much
involvement" and "letting them run unsupervised." Obviously too much
involvement for one kid would be not enough for another and vise versa. Some
kids are born more mature than others (please don't jump on me for that one,
it's just a colloquial assessment I've made, I'm not writing a book on it).
Some kids need a giant safety net of the partnership of school and home to
keep them from getting into trouble, while others just sort of seem to know
what they need to do and do it. All kids need a check and balance system of
caring adults. Like you said, no instructions, we are just left to figure it
out on our own, but isn't it nice when both parents and teachers work on this
together, rather than one or the other thinking they hold the monopoly on
right answers?

Parents should be considered the experts on the needs of their own child,
unless, like you say, they mess up bad! Teachers and counselors and
principals should be considered experts on what the school offers that might
suit the needs of the individual child. And of course kids should be asked
what they want and think. (What a novel concept, eh?) If the communication
is there, then, occasionally, things work out for the best and usually work
out acceptably. Pointing fingers and placing blame is never a good

One day at a time--

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