Re: Civility

[Victor Steinbok <Victor.Steinbok@VERIZON.NET>]

At 5:03 PM -0500 1/27/02, William Cala wrote:
> OK EVERYONE.  PLEASE COOL DOWN and THINK.  The last thing we need is
> vitriolic discourse among those who deeply care about kids (right?).
> Banter = good.  Brutality = bad, very bad.  How about we convert our
> shooting in a circle to attacking problems caused by the bureaucrats
> that are destroying our schools, our kids, our families and our
> communities.
>
> Bill Cala

Arr, shut up, you, pacifist sycophants! :-)

No, really, Bill. Of course, you are right. That's the point of
having these discussion lists.

However, we also must remember that lists develop their own social
dynamics over time and, even though they welcome newcomers, it may
take a while for them to get used to the modes of discourse that the
"veterans" find acceptable or unacceptable. Some do not survive this
first test.

I stir every pot in which I boil, so, it should not be surprising
when I start stepping on toes. If such clumsiness is unintentional,
there is room for apologies. Otherwise... well, let's not go there.

It should be obvious to most people who've been on this list far
longer than I that, in order to survive on this list, anyone with
contrary or conservative views must either have a very thick skin or
glutton for punishment. Some people take all the abuse from nearly
all of us because they are just sick (see, another zinger). This does
not mean that they are not welcome, but they should recognize that
they are outnumbered. It is quite hard to find any lists over the net
that represent the entire political spectrum well--most of the time
people tend to link up with those of like mind at least on a handful
of issues. The main concern here is not "assessment" but opposition
to state or federally mandated standardized tests. There are at least
three other lists devoted to the same subject that I know of (plus
the local splinter groups or branches as well). If someone has an
idea that he can join this list with a pro-testing agenda and try to
win people over with rhetoric--well, this is not going to happen.
But, there is a range of political opinions (I believe the
ultra-conservatives are missing, but everything else from moderate
conservative to the radical left is here). Similarly, there is a
range of religious views here as well--some rather devout Christians,
some Christmas Christians, some orthodox Jews, some Christmas Jews
:-), some atheists and some "other"--I am not aware of any practicing
Moslems or Buddhists on the list, but they might be lurking.

That means that most of the time, if topics OUTSIDE the main scope of
discussion come up, there are going to be disagreements. When someone
intentionally tries to shut down a part of the network because of
political or religious disagreements, there will be repercussions. We
all have to be careful NOT to tell other people to shut up just
because their opinions contradict our worldview or step over the
boundary of discourse that we recognize as familiar and proper in
other social venues. That does not mean that you can't call someone
an "asshole" if you really think the label is justified. Just make
sure that you 1) exhaust other approaches, 2) explore a range of
opportunities to break the news to your opponents, from soft
reminders to harsh sarcasm, and 3) make sure that you are not just
repeating your opponent's mistake from a different perspective. And
remember, if someone else on the list wants to insult you, he'll let
you know in advance--it won't come as a shocking surprise.

       VS-)

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