That new ride at DisneyTown

["Allen Flanigan." <Allen.Flanigan@USPTO.GOV>]

They already have a ride called "test-based accountability" at our local
amusement park, designed for teachers, principals and administrators.  It's
a lot like a roller coaster in that you start the ride at a low level (like
the introduction of a new high-stakes test), initially climb to a certain
height (rising scores in the first few years) and then experience a series
of rises and falls (typical test score variability, see Kane and Staiger),
along with twists and turns (manipulations of cut scores, changes in test
format, etc.) which make you dizzy, and finally you end up pretty much where
you began.  There are, however, crucial differences between a conventional
roller coaster and this new ride:

*       Unlike a roller coaster, you don't get off when the ride is over.
The old test (TAAS, eg) gets thrown out, and a new one is installed, and the
ride begins all over again.  Get your vomit bags ready.

*       The ground on which the new ride is built is a swampy morass (no
firm educational foundation), so you actually end up at a lower level
educationally than you started at when the ride began, because the entire
ride is slowly sinking into the ground.

*       Scopalomine patches don't seem to help the sickness you get when on
the ride.

*       A lot of kids seem to fall off the ride before it's over
(graduation), and park management doesn't seem to concerned about installing
safety equipment to minimize such "dropoffs".

-----Original Message-----
From: Assessment Reform Network Mailing List
[mailto:ARN-L@LISTS.CUA.EDU]On Behalf Of Art Burke
Sent: Monday, March 04, 2002 3:40 PM
To: ARN-L@LISTS.CUA.EDU
Subject: Re: whole language question





In any event, while I was in Disneyland, I tried to convince Disney
management that what the Magic Kingdom really needs is a new ride called
"Psychometrics:  The Adventure is Standard."  The way it works is you start
off as a typical psychometrician (kind of a cross between Errol Flynn,
Stephen Hawking, and Albert Schweitzer.) Your goal is make up a simple third
grade reading test, but along the way you are assailed by liberals,
conservatives, teachers, principals, superintendents, school board members,
professors, union representatives, union busters, privatizers, publicizers,
kids, parents, and participants on various Internet listservs.

I just about had Michael Eisner convinced when one of them asked me what
normal person would want to go on such a ride.  When I answered, "one over
sigma times the square root of 2 pi raised to the power of e to the minus
one-half times the quantity X - mu over sigma squared," that's when they
threw me out.

Art

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