Re: instant anxiety for 3, 4, 5-year-olds

["PJH" <hardingpj3@comcast.net>]

>>I'm still saddened by the fact that "playing at school" means doing
worksheets and filling out forms.
I do know what you mean - but for her, worksheets and forms have nothing to
do with school.

She's been a regular visitor to the local public school, where her brother
participates in a gifted "pull-out" class.  Until very recently, "school" in
her mind was a place you go once a week for two hours or so, and do cool
hands-on activities, give (or in her case watch) presentations, play with
neat stuff like tessellation toys, see caterpillars, do puppet shows, often
eat good food, etc.   She was absolutely shocked recently to find that her
cousin attended the school for the *whole* day.  ("When does he play?" was
of course her question...)
(Try to explain to a kid who has no realistic concept of "school" what it
means to be "homeschooled".  Its actually pretty comical!)

Anyway, filling out forms is "playing at being mommy" - she's watched me
balance my checkbook and paying bills and so on, and I've given her pens and
the junk mail so she can "help" since she was very young.  Now again, my two
older boys *never* did this - and neither of them *ever* used "invented
letters" in their scribbling.  They both read early and knew darn well that
scribbled "imitation letters" weren't "real" and so didn't want anything to
do with them.  Neither wrote much till they had the small motor skills to do
so fairly legibly.  This was *years* after they learned to read.
However, I do know what you mean - one of the neighbor girls used to come
over and "play school" in our basement.  As far as I could tell, it
consisted mainly of yelling at the kids!
>>>>Unfortunately what is happening in many if not all public schools, at
least in NYC, is that those other activities that you mentioned- such  as
dressing up and playing, are not considered "core" curriculum.

Yes, this is just terrible.  In our house our unit blocks have been in
constant use for the last eleven years.  My ten year old builds with blocks
and/or LEGO every single day.  I don't know if he has more time for this
than his schooled peers because his instruction is more tailored to him (so
we don't spend time doing stuff he already knows), or because we value it
more.  He has a bunch of friends who also like blocks and LEGO.  One of the
nice things about being home is that they can spend several hours at this -
sometimes all day - and they can leave up their structures for a long time.

Also, fewer people nowadays have such things as unit blocks in their homes,
I'm guessing.  With smaller families, the investment may not be so
cost-effective.  And of course the toys that sell the best are tied in to
some character on TV.  I found it especially difficult to find
age-appropriate toys for two-year-olds, due to the safety regulations.  (Not
knocking the regs, just that the toy companies don't seem to be able to come
up with non-babyish toys for that age group.  But again, maybe it's because
I was looking for non-plastic toys...)

My cousin lives in Canada and among other cool and civilized things they
have a state-run toy-mobile - like a book mobile - from which they can
borrow blocks and Duplo and all kinds of other cool toys.  *SO* sensible,
since that stuff is expensive, and much of it is in use for a relatively
short period of time.

Here in PA they just cut library funding 50%, while also considering
lowering the compulsory school age.  Ugh.

>>>>For children living in poverty, the situation is dire- probably they are
not dressing up at home, listening to bedtiime stories or going to ballet
performances or field trips-etc.  So the worksheets at school are the way
the AUTHORITIES are trying to get these kids to catch up to their
middle-class counterparts. Rather, in school, they should be exposed to
those sorts of activities that your home-schooled children are, as part of
their everyday normal lives.

I totally agree.  The move towards more seatwork and drill is appalling.
There also doesn't seem to be much effort at building on the skills the kids
may actually have, like taking care of younger children, or navigating their
neighborhood on their own.  Sigh....

BTW - I sort of hesitate to bring up my experiences as a homeschooler.  I
don't want to offend anyone in the school system.  On the other hand,
sometimes being outside of something gives one insights that can help those
inside the system.  (My kids have also been in school.  Long story...)  Let
me know if I veer off-topic.
Pauline