Fwd: [LiteracyForAll] Fw: [wa-ed-deform] Ultimate WASL

[Susan Harman <susanharman@igc.org>]

Begin forwarded message:
> A little testing humor from Washington State.
>
> http://www.davedoyle.com/prof/pastProjects/Nerd/humor/ 
> ultimate_final.html
> Ultimate Final Exam
> Instructions: Read each question thoroughly. Answer all questions.
> Time limit - four hours. Begin immediately.
>
> Music
> Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate it and perform it with flute and  
> drum. You will find a piano under your seat.
> History
> Describe the history of the Papacy from its origins to the present  
> day, concentrate specifically but not exclusively, on the social,  
> political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe,  
> Asia, America and Africa. Be brief, concise and specific.
> Literature
> Compose an epic poem based on the events of your own life in which you  
> see and footnote allusions from T.S. Eliot, Keats, Chaucer, Dante,  
> Norse mythology and the Marx brothers. Critique your poem
> with a full discussion of its metrics.
> Art
> Explain the Mona Lisa's smile. Relate all interpretations associated  
> with it.
> Religion
> Assuming the Judeo-Christian moral structure, take the stand for Adam  
> and Eve, and the eating of the forbidden fruit. Explain your position  
> fully to a Chassidic Rabbi, and answer his arguments. An
> Anglican bishop will moderate this debate.
> Logic
> Using accepted methodology prove all four of the following: the  
> universe is infinite; truth is beauty; there is not a little person  
> who turns off the light in the refrigerator when you close the door;  
> and that you are the person taking this exam. Now disprove all of the  
> above. Be specific; show all work.
> Philosophy
> Sketch the development of human thought; estimate its significance.  
> Compare with the development of any other kind of thought.
> Epistemology
> Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity of your  
> position.
> Medicine
> You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a  
> bottle of Scotch. Remove your own appendix. Do not suture until your  
> work has been inspected. You have fifteen minutes.
> Biology
> Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if  
> this form of life had developed five hundred years earlier, with  
> special attention to the probable effects on the English Parliamentary  
> system. Prove your thesis.
> Psychology
> Employing principles from the major schools of psychoanalytic thought,  
> successfully subject yourself to analysis. Make appropriate  
> personality changes, bill yourself and fill out all medical insurance  
> forms. Now do the same to the person seated to your immediate left.  
> Also, based on your degree of knowledge of their works, evaluate the  
> emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations  
> of each of the following Alexander of Aphrodisias, Rameses II, Gregory  
> of Nicea, Hammurabi. Support your evaluations with quotations from  
> each man's work, making appropriate
> references. It is not necessary to translate.
> Sociology
> Estimate the sociological problems that might accompany the end of the  
> world. Construct and experiment to test your theory.
> Economics
> Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the  
> possible effects of you plan in the following areas Cubism, the  
> Donatist controversy, the wave theory of light. Outline a method from  
> all points of view. Point out deficiencies in your argument as  
> demonstrated in your answer to the last question.
> Computer Science
> Define computer. Define Science. How do they relate? Why? Create a  
> generalized algorithm to optimize all computer decisions. Assuming an  
> 1130 CPU supporting 50 terminals, each terminal to activate your  
> algorithm, design the communications to interface and all the  
> necessary control programs.
> Management Science
> Define Management. Define Science. How do they relate? Why? Create a  
> generalized algorithm to optimize all managerial decisions. Assuming  
> an 1130 CPU supporting 50 terminals, each terminal to activate your  
> algorithm; design the communications interface and all necessary  
> control programs.
> Public Speaking
> 2,500 riot-crazed students are storming the classroom. Calm them. You  
> may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek.
> Physics
> Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an evaluation of  
> the impact of the development of mathematics on science.
> Modern Physics
> Disprove Einstein's Theory of Relativity. Construct an experiment to  
> prove your position.
> Engineering
> The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed in a  
> box on your desk. You will also find an instruction manual, printed in  
> Swahili. In ten minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the  
> room. Take whatever action you feel is appropriate. Prove your  
> assertions, and be prepared to cost- and motion- justify your > decision.
> Agricultural Science
> Outline the steps involved in breeding your own super high yield, all  
> weather hybrid strain of wheat. Describe its chemical and physical  
> properties and estimate its impact on world food supplies.
> Construct a model for dealing with world-wide surpluses. Write your  
> Nobel Prize acceptance speech.
> Comprehension
> Three minute time test. Read everything before doing anything. Put
> your name in the upper right hand corner of this page. Circle the
> word name in sentence three. Sign your name under the title of this
> paper, after the title write yes, yes, yes. Put an X in the lower
> left hand corner of this paper. Draw a triangle around the X you
> just put down. On the back of this paper multiply 703x668. Loudly
> call out your name when you get to this point. If you think you have
> followed directions carefully to this point call out "I have." Punch
> three small holes in the top of this paper. If you are the first
> person to get this far, call out "I am the first person to this
> point, I am leading in following directions." On the reverse side of
> this paper add 8950 and 9850. Put a circle around your answer and
> put a square around the circle. Now that you have finished reading
> carefully, do only sentence two.
> Political Science
> There is a red telephone on the desk behind you. Start World War III.  
> Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any.
> Jurisprudence
> In Part 2 of Shakespeare's "Henry VI", Jack Cade, the leader of the  
> Populist revolt, proposes that the first order of business following a  
> successful coup d'etat could be to "kill all the lawyers". In light of  
> the present populist mood in the United States, assess the utility and  
> any potential impact of such a policy today.
> Foreign Affairs
> It has recently been suggested (especially after Black Monday) that  
> only a foreign war can restore America's lost national consensus.  
> Propose the ideal opponent(s) for the US in such a war, and how the  
> conflict might be engineered so that US would seem not to be the  
> aggressor in the situation. Discuss the pros and cons.
> Mathematics
> Give today's date, in metric.
> Chemistry
> Transform lead into gold. You will find a tripod and three logs under  
> your seat. Show all work including Feynman diagrams and quantum  
> functions for all steps. You have fifteen minutes.
> General Knowledge
> Describe in detail. Be objective and specific.
> Extra Credit
> Define the Universe. Give two examples.
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>
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